Create Your Own Calm With This Self-Care Ritual

Easy Rituals to Ease Everyday Stress

When was the last time you felt completely at peace with yourself?

Maybe it was at a family gathering, feeling loved and grounded. Or during a holiday when the everyday worries melted away. Or perhaps it was something as simple as a soft breeze on a spring afternoon – one of those moments that catches you by surprise and reminds you how good it feels to just be.

In the middle of busy lives and endless to-do lists, those peaceful moments can feel rare. But here’s the truth – calm isn’t something we have to wait for. It’s something we can create for ourselves, gently and intentionally, with a bit of space and a little care.

And it starts by turning inwards.

Why Calm Begins With You

Most of us juggle so many roles – carer, partner, parent, professional, peacekeeper. But when we’re constantly giving to others without checking in with ourselves, we can start to lose touch with what we truly need.

That’s where small, regular self-care rituals can make a big difference. One of my favourites is a grounding meditation that helps you reconnect with yourself and distinguish between what you want and what you actually need – a subtle but powerful shift that brings clarity and calm.

Understanding Want vs Need

This meditation is inspired by the late teacher Bob Moore, whose work I’ve found deeply nourishing. It’s a simple practice, but one that offers surprising insights when done regularly.

At first glance, ‘want’ and ‘need’ might seem interchangeable – but energetically, they’re very different.

Want often comes from a place of grasping – a kind of restless, fiery energy that can feel urgent or even overwhelming. It’s the part of us that’s always reaching for something to fill a gap.
Need, on the other hand, feels quieter. It’s a deeper, more grounded sense – like a gentle current guiding you towards what truly supports and nourishes you.

Over time, this meditation helps you recognise how those two feelings show up in your body – and how to listen to the softer voice within.

Before You Begin

The first time you try this, give yourself 20–30 minutes of uninterrupted space. Choose a quiet, comfortable spot where you won’t be disturbed.

You don’t need to sit cross-legged on the floor (unless you enjoy it). A hard-backed chair works well – with your feet planted firmly on the ground. This helps with posture, presence, and that grounded feeling we’re aiming for.

Have a pen and paper nearby for the second part of the practice.

Part 1: Tuning In to Want

Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Allow your body to soften. Let your breath slow naturally, and notice where you're holding tension – without trying to change anything.
When you feel ready, bring your attention to the area a couple of inches below your navel. Imagine you’re directing your breath here. Let the lower belly gently expand as you breathe in, and soften as you breathe out.
Rest your palms lightly over this area if it helps you connect.
Now allow your mind to wander – what do you want in life? Let your imagination go wild. Big, small, silly, serious – there are no wrong answers.
Spend about 10–15 minutes with this. When you feel ready, gently open your eyes and write down everything you remember. This helps to clear space and reflect on your deeper needs in the next step.

Part 2: Listening for Need

Close your eyes again and return your focus to your lower belly.
This time, imagine there’s a tiny nostril there and you're breathing in and out gently through that space. Let your breath become soft and spacious.
Once you feel steady and relaxed, ask yourself: “What do I truly need right now?” You don’t need to think your way to an answer. Just stay open and allow something to rise. It might surprise you.
Maybe it’s rest. Or connection. Or clarity about something you’ve been avoiding. Let the answer arise from that quiet inner space.
If multiple answers come, breathe into your belly again and gently focus on the word ‘priority’. Which need feels most important?

Use This Practice Anytime You Feel Disconnected

This meditation isn’t about fixing or forcing anything. It’s simply a way of reconnecting – of turning inward for guidance instead of looking outside for the answers.

You can use it anytime you feel scattered, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next step. Whether you’re deciding how to spend your day, navigating a tricky situation, or just feeling out of sync – this gentle check-in can help you find your way back to yourself.

And that, more than anything, is the heart of self-care: learning to listen deeply and respond with kindness.

"Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself."

— Hermann Hesse.

May this practice help you find that stillness — and return to it whenever you need.

Simple mindfulness practices to incorporate into your daily life

Why self-compassion is the new self-care

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