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Unlock your feminine power

Unlock your feminine power
Nourishing your feminine energy will heal you

Feminine power is about finding a balance, which even men can learn to embrace.

Feminine energy refers to a specific set of traits considered to be the opposite of those associated with masculine energy. Your feminine side gets expressed when you move with the flow of life, embrace your creative energy, dance, play, and connect to your internal self.

Do you ever feel like you are not quite yourself? Like somewhere along the path, you lost a piece of your authenticity, and you just can't seem to put your finger on what it was or where it went?

You are not alone. Many people feel this way — women in particular but men, too — and a large part of that lost sense of self is, in fact, the lost art of connecting with the parts of yourself that are deeply feminine: the nurturing, empathetic, vulnerable, creative and intuitive parts.

Nourishing your feminine energy will heal you.

For so long, we have been bathed only in the masculine. It's what our organisations, power structures, success models and most of our societies are based on. And this energy, as evidenced in recent political, social and economic events, is not creating the world most people want to live in: harmonious, fair, equitable and safe.

Feminine energy is what the world needs to heal and transform. Unfortunately, feminine energy is often considered the less valuable of the two energies in western society. In reality, one isn't better than the other. They are two halves of the same whole. They add to each other and balance each other out.

Unbalanced masculine energy is all striving with no contentment (the stereotype of the overworked businessman with no downtime comes to mind).

Unbalanced Feminine energy is pure present-minded indulgence with no direction or goals in life (a twenty-something party girl addicted to drugs and is entirely dependent on others to get by in life).

Masculine energy is the more "prized" of the two energies, and I find this really sad.

When we think about power, it's all too often masculine power led by drive, ambition, competitiveness, independence and control over others. You may recognise the masculine around you and, indeed, within you. Qualities like determination, aggression, decisiveness and overconfidence are all traits that research associates with the masculine.

It doesn't take much searching to see these traits everywhere, in both men and women. These are not bad traits; we need them, and they are especially powerful when they are in balance with the feminine. But, far too often, we have let the masculine go into overdrive, and we have allowed the feminine aspects of our natures to take a backseat. The rejection of the feminine is a path many of us have walked because we felt that was who we needed to be.

People living everywhere from Japan to Korea, Germany to the United States now associate happiness, leadership, success and morality to the growing popularity of feminine traits: those mentioned, like nurturing and empathy, and traits like collaboration, kindness, reliability and generosity.

When society appreciates and values feminine traits in both women and men, men have the space and permission to find a more nurturing balance for themselves.

This will be comforting news to many women desperately seeking ways to show up authentically for their own happiness and success. There are waves of women who are tired of living with a dominance of unempowered feminine energy, feeling out of touch with their natural essence and over-compensating with masculine energy.

Many men are also undergoing an awakening and looking to step out of societal norms and expectations and better balance their feminine traits. This is no small feat in a world that tells men and boys to "man up" and which has long rejected their right to be anything other than the alpha male: dominant, in charge, strong, successful, driven, competitive, the breadwinner.

So how do you — we — get there? The path is that of learning to tap into your feminine traits and enhance your feminine power. Whether you are a woman looking to reconnect with your inner feminine energy or a man looking to self-nurture and balance out his masculine side, here are eight ways to tap into your feminine power.

1. Slow down

You can't possibly tap into your feminine energy when you are racing around at a million miles an hour. Time and space to just be, and to unfold into yourself, are incredibly important, even critical, for you to be able to get a sense of what your feminine power can look and feel like.

Work out how and when you can create some space for yourself, remove things from your calendar, start setting boundaries and create moments of slowness and stillness, even if they are relatively small to begin with.

2. Tune in

Once you have created space to slow down and be still, it's time to learn to tune in. For many people, the ability to tap into their intuition is a lost art form in today's busy world. It can also be quite confronting to quiet the monkey mind (see last week's blog 'Be kinder to your inner critic') and really get in touch with what your soul is telling you (perhaps scary to even think about).

Intuition is considered a feminine trait that sits at the very heart of feminine power. Meditation is the quickest path to your intuitive side. Sit quietly for up to 30 minutes a day to awaken the feminine essence of your inner knowing. Even five minutes a day to start with will make a world of difference.

3. Own all aspects of yourself

Many people reject the feminine parts for fear of appearing soft, vulnerable, weak and essentially powerless. Society has long lost value for feminine traits. The feminine can be seen as weak, and for a long time, people who led with feminine characteristics were seen as passive and easily dismissed. But times are changing, and it starts with you.

Own all aspects of yourself — the masculine and the feminine — and claim and embody all you are. When you deny a part of yourself, you lose your power. What do you need to reclaim to bring your feminine energy back to you?

4. Choose the traits you need

Now that you have a solid idea of how you are currently showing up take a look at the traits you think will serve you best. Are you using your feminine qualities such as vulnerability, empathy and compassion? Or are you more firmly steeped in your masculine traits of drive, authority and independence?

It could be that you have lost all touch with your creative passions while you work in a corporate job that identifies more with your masculine tendencies. Or you are so tired of being strong and independent all the time and what you really want is to show more of your vulnerability and ask for support.

5. Check your stories

Studies show that women, in particular, can lack confidence, leading them to step away from their feminine power because of the limiting stories we tell ourselves. Start to catch your stories about your feminine nature.

It could be "They won't like me if I show my vulnerability", or "If I'm too nice, I'll get walked over", or even "I can't be creative and work in a professional role at the same time".

Once you've caught the story, ask yourself the simple question, "Is that true?", then start to reframe unhelpful stories that undermine your power.

6. Allow time for healing, recharging, and self-care

A simple way to honour the feminine within you is to find ways to really nurture yourself. Connect with nature or natural elements:

  • Water (soaking in a hot bath)

  • Fire (lighting scented candles or gazing at a fire pit)

  • Wind (taking a walk outside)

  • Earth (gardening or surrounding your environment with interior plants)

Women are often caught up with everyday tasks and most often neglect to protect their energy. It is important to recognise our needs and nurture our spirit.

Build yourself a "nurture me" list: small things that can help to restore your spirit, balance your energies and nourish the feminine within you. And yes, guys, this applies to you, too!

7. Enjoy the little things

The harder we work, the harder it is to disengage. We push on, and before we know it, we're not enjoying life as much as we could. Take time to savour the moment, read a book, laugh, take a warm bath, stretch out on the floor, or call a friend.

They're little moments of luxury, small moments of enjoying the simple pleasures of life. You'll feel better and just a bit more relaxed when you enjoy the little things life offers.

8. Do things that spark your creativity

One of the most powerful and intuitive ways to get in touch with your feminine power is through the lost art of creativity. When was the last time you created something? Made some art, your art?

Don't overthink it, just follow what you are naturally feeling in the moment. This can take the form of writing, painting, music, cooking food with love for your family, baking, going for a walk with your camera, making iMovies or Insta gram reels, dancing around your kitchen to your favourite song etc. Find a workshop that allows you to unleash your creative side and learn a skill or two.

Try whatever you need to do to tap into your creative essence that has a deep longing to be heard (whether you can listen to it or not, it's there), do it. Get creative and watch your feminine essence unfold.

Awaken the feminine

Feminine power lies within us all — whatever our gender. It may have been lying dormant in you for a very long time. Still, there is an awakening happening in the world today, and you can create your own unfolding into your feminine essence through playing with these practices, raising your awareness and permitting yourself to come home. That is where your power lies—your true feminine power.

You are a wild priestess with a courageous divine feminine heart and spirit of wise ancients within.

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